Conflict. Just the word itself can send a shiver down our spines. For years, we've been conditioned to see conflict as the boogeyman of relationships—an omen signaling the beginning of the end. But what if that’s all wrong? What if there’s a deeper narrative, one that paints conflict not as the end, but as a vivid starting point for transformation.
For years I prided myself on the fact that my partner and I “never argued”, but the truth of that statement is that we both did an excellent job of avoiding difficult topics, only for us to become bitter and full of resentment later. Sure, we never argued, but we also didn’t have a deep and authentic connection that I craved.
In contrast, my current relationship thrives on authentic interaction. Yes, we argue, and sometimes full out scream at one another, but we discovered the beauty in conscious repair that not only creates greater understanding, but draws us closer together. And these tools are what we want to share with you.
So, do you find yourself wondering why the universe magnetically drew you toward someone who not only triggers but downright challenges you? Let's disrupt the idea that this happens because you're a glutton for punishment. In fact, let's turn it on its head. What if, beneath the veil of conflict, what you're actually seeking is a pathway to deep healing and transformation?
Instead of attributing all the chaos to our partners, what if we viewed conflict as a mirror, daring us to look at our own reflections? What if it reveals to us the unhealed wounds, the bottled-up fears, the hidden scars we thought were long forgotten? What happens when we dare to ask that mirror, "What life-altering lessons are you reflecting back at me?"
Human beings are hardwired to survive. Our nervous systems are finely tuned instruments that alert us to danger, preparing our bodies to either flee or fight. But what if we've miscategorized conflict as a threat? What if our nervous systems are just playing out an outdated script? What if, instead of letting our bodies bolt or battle, we chose to stay, breathe, and dissect what's really going on?